[Verse]
Though my position is of low degree,
And all the others, they look down on me,
I'll go smiling through,
That's if I have you!

I am the happiest of troubadours,
Thinkin' of you while I'm massaging those floors.
At my leisure time,
I made up this rhyme:

[Refrain 1]
I will be the oil mop
If you'll be the oil,
Then we both could mingle
Every time we toil.

I will be the washboard
If you'll be the tub,
Think of all the Mondays
We can rub-a-dub!

I will be your shoe-brush
If you'll be my shoe,
Then I'll keep you bright, dear,
Still feeling good as new!

If you'll be my razor,
I will be your blade,
That's a porter's love song
To a chambermaid.

[Refrain 2]
I will be the dustpan
If you'll be my broom,
Then we could work together
All around the room.

I will be your clothespin,
Be my pulley line,
We'll hang out together,
Wouldn't that be fine?

I will be the dishpan,
If you'll be my dish,
And we'll meet after meals, dear,
What more could you wish?

If I will be your window,
Be my window shade,
That's a porter's love song
To a chambermaid.