[Verse 1]
Dick:
  Each time you trill a song with Bill
  Or look at Will, I got a chill—
  I'm gloomy.
  I won't recall the name of all
  The men who fall—It's all appall-
  Ing to me.
  Of course, I really cannot blame them a bit.
  For you're a hit whenever you flit.
  I know it's so, but, dearie, oh!
  You'll never know the blues that go
  Right through me.


[Refrain 1]
  I've got the You-Don't-Know-the-Half-of-It-Dearie Blues.
  The trouble is you have so many from whom to choose.
  If you should marry
  Tom, Dick, or Harry,
  Life would be the bunk—
  I'd become a monk,
  I've got the You-Don't-Know-the-Half-of-It-Dearie Blues!


[Verse 2]
Shirley:
  You dare assert that you were hurt
  Each time I'd flirt with Bill or Bert—
  You brute, you!
  Well, I'm repaid: I felt betrayed
  When any maid whom you surveyed
  Woud suit you;
  Compared to you, I've been as good as could be:
  Yet here you are—lecturing me!
  You're just a guy who makes me cry;
  Yet though I try to "cut" you, I
  Salute you.


[Refrain 2]
  I've got the You-Don't-Know-the-Half-of-It-Dearie Blues.
  Oh, how I wish you'd drop an anchor and end your cruise.
  You're just a duffer
  Who makes me suffer;
  All the younger set
  Says your heart's to let.
  I've got the You-Don't-Know-the-Half-of-It-Dearie Blues!