[Verse]
NICELY:
    What's playing at the Roxy?
    I'll tell you what's playing at the Roxy;
    It's a picture about a Minnesota man
    So in love with a Mississippi girl
    That he sacrifices everything
    And moves all the way to Biloxi
    That's what's playing at the Roxy
BENNY:
    What's in the Daily News?
    I'll tell you what's in the Daily News:
    Story about a guy bought his wife a small ruby
    With what otherwise would have been his union dues.
    That's what's in the Daily News.
NICELY:
    What's happening all over?
    I'll tell you what's happening all over:
    Guy's sitting home by a television set who once
    Used to be something of a rover.
BOTH:
    That's what's happening all over.
    Love is the thing that has licked 'em,
    And it looks like Nathan's just another victim.

[Refrain]
NICELY: (spoken) Yes, sir.
    (sung) When you see a guy
    Reach for stars in the sky,
    You can bet that he's doing it for some doll.
BENNY:
    When you spot a John waiting out in the rain,
    Chances are he's insane as only a John
    Can be for a Jane.
NICELY:
    When you meet a gent
    Paying all kinds of rent
    For a flat
    That could flatten the Taj Mahal—
BOTH:
    Call it sad, call it funny,
    But it's better than even money
    That the guy's only doing it for some doll.

[Refrain 2]
BENNY:
    When you see a Joe
    Saving have of his dough,
    You can bet
    There'll be mink in it for some doll.
NICELY:
    When a bum buys wine like a bum can't afford,
    It's a cinch that the bum is under the thumb
    Of some little broad.
BENNY:
    When you meet a mug
    Lately out of the jug
    And he's still lifting platinum folderol.
BOTH:
    Call it hell, call it heaven,
    It's a probable twelve to seven
    That the guy's only doing it for some doll.

[Refrain 3]
BENNY:
    When you see a sport
    And his cash has run short,
    Make a bet
    That he's banking it with some doll.
NICELY:
    When a guy wears tails with the front gleaming white,
    Who the hell do you think he's tickling pink
    On Saturday night?
BENNY:
    When a lazy slob
    Takes a goody steady job
    And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol—
BOTH:
    Call it dumb, call it clever,
    Ah, but you can give odds forever
    That the guy's only doing it for some doll,
    The guy's only doing it for some doll!